Time to get real - Show me who you spend your time with, and I'll tell you who you will become. 

When I was in school, I naturally gravitated towards people that I shared interests with. You know, athletics, High School Musical, books - all that good stuff. And my mum would tell me to be careful of who I chose to be friends with, because you become what you surround yourself with.

Now at the time, mum's words weren't quit hitting home with me, and I thought hell no, what's wrong with being friends with the kids who have 0 interest in things I do, no goals and no ambitions?

Well, it all made sense once I got older. When we fast forwarded a decade and my values had changed, my career, my mindset, my whole life. I noticed while all these different aspects of my life evolved - that friendships don't always evolve the same. Why? Because friendships often consist of people that you have shared history with, shared experience with - and sometimes that can be hard to let go of. Nostalgia takes its grip in all its glory, along with the shitty Nokia photos and the duck faces we used to pull together.

There's something beautiful about old friendships don't get me wrong. My partner for example, has maintained incredible connections and friendships with people he grew up with and I can see the authenticity of those connections, and how much they really do like and care about each other, and that is an amazing thing. 

And it's not to say all friendships have an expiration date or need updating, but it is to say that sometimes, they need to be reassessed every now and then to make sure they are still working in your life.

Not everyone you meet, or interact with, or have a relationship with is meant to stay in your life. And that's okay. 

And why is this? Because no matter how strong you are as a person, as an individual, we aren't ever immune to the negativity and the bad energy and the poor influence that someone can have on us. We just aren't. 

If you want to have a great life, if you want to be successful, if you aim to be fufilled, empowered, loved, confident, kind, generous, ambitious, tenacious, brave - then you need people around you that are similar.

Is this selfish? Is it heartless? Hell no. Why? Because if there is someone in your life that is having a deep, negative impact on you, it is very likely it will affect how you are with the people who love you. And that is is the truth.

So, I will give you an example. I used to be friends with a group, and I just noticed over time that so much of our connections and our bonding was bitching about people and essentially mocking them and it was fun. And I realized this one day. And I'm not saying these people were bad people by any means - and I am fully responsible for the words that come out of my mouth it is my choice what I say and no one forced that. But I started engaging in it because that's what I was around and that was how we were connecting.

And what I realized was that this with the opposite, the antithesis of the person I am and aspire to be. Which is someone that gives, love, and kindness and compassion and meets people with understanding and doesn't spew vitriol and venom. 

And what's really important is that we need to surround ourselves with people that hold us to a higher standard, to paraphrase Benjamin Hardy, but who we are around, determines our standards and and it ultimately determines who we become. Because our level of talent and potential can be brought down if we are surrounded by people who do not support us to realize it.

So, acknowledge those good people in your life. Take this moment to reflect and go hey -they really have my back. And also, maybe reflect and say - okay - am I being that friend right now to others? Am I supporting, holding them to a higher standard? Thats also important too. 

And remember, your worthy of having great people around you who care about your wellbeing, celebrate your success and uplift you - you aren't asking for too much at all. 

Sam - The Coach of Confidence xx